Never Listen to Your Girlfriend...This is Why

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Vice Travel Guide to Liberia

Bless the Vice team for their bravery and the most, if I could say, real and affecting piece I've watched. To add this, I don't think I will be going there any soon. Well, "any soon" is a little bit of an understatement I'd say....

Hello Titty

A while back, PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, made all the “weird news” columns in the US by suggesting that Ben & Jerry’s should use breast milk, like the kind your mum fed you from her mum tits, instead of cow milk. What crazy nuts! What a shocking idea! WRONG. It is a FACT that breast milk is healthier for you than cow milk.

And just in case you’re still dubious, we found and interviewed a BREAST-MILK EXPERT who confirmed what we already know: That we are smarter than you.

Vice: Hello nutritionist and breast milk specialist Elisabeth Kylberg. Can adults benefit from breast milk like babies do?

Elisabeth Kylberg: I think that adults shouldn’t drink milk at all, whether it’s human or cow milk. It’s food for babies. Cheese and yogurt, on the other hand, are good for us. Still, the longer women breast-feed, the smaller risk they run of getting breast and ovarian cancer. I wouldn’t be surprised if breast milk is one day used as a medicine—it’s been proved to kill cancer without even damaging the afflicted cells.

So what’s healthier for us to drink, cow or human milk?

Definitely human milk, but I don’t think there’s a market for it.

Is it possible to lactate without actually getting pregnant?

There have been several cases of women who’ve adopted babies and breast-fed them, or grandmothers who breast-fed the baby if the mother passed away. In most cases, they weren’t able to produce the same amount of milk as women who were pregnant, but if you stimulate the breast with a baby sucking on it, for example, it will eventually start producing milk. Even men can start producing milk after heavy breast stimulation, but their milk is not as nutritional.

So if we survived a plane crash and were left on a desert island, or in the Andes like in that movie Alive, we could actually survive on our own milk?

Ha ha, for a while maybe.


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Penis Mushroom

There is a mythical shroom that is unlike any other shroom. For, you see, this mushroom looks like a penis—not just a little bit like a penis, as many mushrooms do, but exactly like a penis. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? And although mushrooms usually spring forth from the earth as if from the toes of the gods, the penis mushroom is about as natural as a cocker spaniel. In other words, it’s totally man-made and if it were ever placed in the wild it would die instantly.

So what is this magic little cock-looking guy all about? Where did it come from? Who made it? I recently sought to answer these questions and was met with a dizzying world of magic, lies, and unsolved murder. And I was tripping balls the whole time, too.

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