6 Friends You Kinda Hate

The Lame Couple

Individually, they're both awesome people who were friends with you pre-relationship. But when their powers combine, they form a crappy Megazord of lameness. Remember the guy who was always down for a game of tackle football? He watches "Grey's Anatomy" every week. Remember the girl you introduced him to? The one you were friends with before he even knew she existed? She hasn't spoken to you in months. Despite whatever friendship you may have had, she's been demoted to "friend's girlfriend" status; which means she sees you as competition for her boyfriend's time. Now whenever you're with him, he's got to leave early to fulfill his daily quota of "sitting around and being boring with his girl." And whenever you're with her- Wait, you're never with her. She decided you aren't friends anymore.

The Guy Who Always Wants to Hang Out at His House

Have plans for tonight? Maybe something different than the boring shit you and your friends do every night? Sorry, but as soon as you call this asshole your grandiose dreams are caput. Dragonforce could be playing a free show at a topless ice cream party and this guy would rather "have everyone chill" at his house. He's lazy, selfish, and his "pad" isn't nearly as fun as he thinks it is. But the worst part? Your friends are enablers. They'd rather just go there than actually think of something to do. Sucks for you.

The "Crazy" Girl

She's crazy! At least that's what everyone reminds you every ten seconds. In reality, she's more loud and annoying than anything -- actually being insane would suggest that she doesn't have control of her actions. But every "outburst" is just her way of attracting attention. Her sense of humor includes yelling and doing "embarrassing" things when she's drunk (which is most of the time). Expect your friends to constantly recount her hilarious antics. Can you believe she threw a shoe at someone last night? How crazy is that? So crazy, right? Crazy!

The Nerd

Don't like talking about your "Call of Duty" play style in front of strangers? Too bad! You made the mistake of befriending this social-retard and now you're paying the price. The Nerd loves to speak openly about lan parties and "pwnage" in ANY situation, and assumes everyone understands his jargon. Even more painful than his "World of Warcraft" jokes, is the awkward silence that follows; but don't worry! He'll be quick to fill the void by incessantly quoting Internet memes. Good times.

Your Girlfriend's Guy Friend

Your girlfriend insists that they've been "friends forever" and that it's "not like that." But you know exactly what "it's" like; he wants to f*ck her. Unfortunately, there's not too much you can do about it without seeming like a jealous jackass. Technically, he's not doing anything wrong. He hides behind the innocent guise of a platonic relationship while waiting for the perfect opportunity to make his move. And the worst part about all this? Anything you say to your girlfriend will blow up in your face. What could you say? "I'm suspicious of him because he's showing interest in you, and there'd be no reason to do that without the prospect of sex." Sounds terrible. You'd be better off just biting your tongue. Let's face it, he'll probably never do anything offensive enough to justify your actions.

He's such an asshole.


Via College Humor

Errol Morris: OXYMORONS

Oxymorons. What are they? I grabbed a definition from the American Heritage Dictionary.

ox-y-mo-ron
A rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined, as in a deafening silence and a mournful optimist.

Well, I have my own example.

How about...

A nice person.


Via Errol Morris

Errol Morris: CURSE THE DARKNESS

A Chinese proverb - 'Don't curse the darkness - light a candle.' Used by Adlai Stevenson (1900-65), praising Eleanor Roosevelt in an address to the United Nations General Assembly in 1962 - 'She would rather light candles than curse the darkness, and her glow has warmed the world.' While intending no disrespect for either Adlai Stevenson or Eleanor Roosevelt, I disagree.

I can think of several reasons why it makes more sense to curse the darkness. First of all, cursing the darkness is satisfying in its own right. I can't begin to tell you the immense amount of pleasure I get from cursing all sorts of things. Including the darkness. On the other hand, lighting a candle can have a number of deleterious consequences.

1. You could burn yourself.
2. You could cause a fire, e.g., burn down the house.
3. You could drip hot candle wax on good furniture or perhaps a fine tablecloth. We all know how difficult it is to remove.
4. The candle could be one of those ghastly scented candles, patchouli oil or sandalwood. And once one of those things is lighted, it's too damn late. You're stuck with this foul order that can linger on for days, if not weeks. In short, if you're not completely familiar with the candle why take the chance?
5. the candle provides only minimal illumination. Hardly worth the effort. You can't really read by it without worrisome eyestrain. In short, why bother? Or if you must read by it, consult an ophthalmologist. And that's expensive.
6. It's cheaper. You don't need matches. You don't need a candle. You don't need anything. Except a bad disposition. Why not be self-sufficient and do with a little less?


Via Errol Morris

Errol Morris: THE GORILLA-PLOY

You have had some trouble figuring out why people are acting in a confusing or contradictory fashion. You can't provide a plausible explanation of their behavior. Just imagine that they are gorillas. Or, if you prefer, some other kind of monkey. I find this very helpful. Once we have dispossessed ourselves of the notion that we are rational, consistent or even make sense, then we are in a much better position to analyze our own behavior and the behavior of others.

Big monkeys. That's what we are. And by that I mean no disrespect to monkeys.


Via Errol Morris

Improve Your Eyesight with Games

Doctors may start prescribing a dose of violent conflict, if a trial confirms evidence that computer gaming improves eyesight.

Six years ago Daphne Bavelier at the University of Rochester, New York, exploded the myth that gaming is bad for your eyes by showing that expert gamers outperform non-gamers at a variety of visual tasks. Now she has demonstrated that playing action-packed video games improves a person's ability to perceive contrast, a skill we rely on in dark conditions.

The finding raises the prospect that people with amblyopia, sometimes known as "lazy eye", could be treated with games.

Bavelier's team randomly assigned 13 healthy young adults, who did not previously play video games, to play either action games like the first-person shooter Unreal Tournament or more sedate titles such as The Sims for 50 hours over nine weeks.

Tests before and after showed that the contrast perception of both groups improved - the action-game group improved by 43% and 11% in the other group. The effect persisted for months, even when people didn't play games at all.

The study is the first indication that contrast sensitivity can be altered without corrective lenses or surgery, says Bavelier. Her work has inspired Dennis Levi and colleagues at the University of California, Berkeley, to begin a trial to see whether gaming can help people with amblyopia.

Bavelier's results show gaming's potential for clinical treatment, says Lotfi Merabet, a neuroscientist at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, who uses games for visual rehabilitation. He predicts gaming will become increasingly common as a clinical tool.


Via New Scientist

Gary: Young, Psychic and Possessed

Part 1/6

Twenty-year-old Gary Mannion calls himself Britain's youngest psychic surgeon, channelling a spirit from the dead to operate on the sick. He is a rising star in the world of spiritual healing, travelling the world to bring his alleged ability to effect miracle cures to a devoted following.

In Young, Psychic and Possessed filmmaker Emeka Onono follows Gary as he tries to prove he really does have the power to heal. It is a journey into the supernatural that will challenge both sceptics and true believers. Emeka hears stories of miracle cures, watches Gary operate, and even participates in seances, before turning to science to try to separate fact from fantasy.

Love on Location

Budapest to Vienna

In Richard Linklater's 1995 talk-fest Before Sunrise, Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Celine (Julie Delpy) meet on a train from Budapest to Vienna and embark on a daylong love affair. They squeeze a lot of romance into just a few hours, and you can too.

The most romantic train ride between the two cities is aboard the Orient Express; unfortunately it doesn't allow much stop-over time in Vienna (where Jesse and Celine spent an alluring day) before continuing on to Paris. But there are several other trains that make the same three-and-a half-hour trip, and they're all romantic. The gentle rocking of the car, the landscape speeding by — it's hard to resist.

Once you're in Vienna, stroll over the Zollamtssteg bridge and through Franziskanerplatz, one of the most beautiful squares in the city, and wind up in the tiny Friedhof der Namenlosen ("Cemetery of the Nameless"), just like they did in the movie. The great part about your journey is that it doesn't have to end by morning — you can sleep (or, something) the day away in a sexy circular bed overlooking the Danube at the Arcotel Kaiserwasser.

Arcotel Kaiserwasser: Wagramer Strasse 8;+43-(0)1-224-24-0

Gruissan-Plage and Paris

Betty Blue opens in the small fishing town of Gruissan-Plage in the south of France, where the lonely Zorg (Jean-Hugues Anglade) spends his days painting bungalows — until the ravishing and wildly unpredictable Betty (Béatrice Dalle) arrives and turns his world upside down.

You can get to Gruissan-Plage, about an hour from Perpignan and not far from the Spanish border, by flying into the Montpellier airport. Rent a room or a private bungalow a stone's throw from the beach and play out one of the hottest sex scenes captured on film. The next morning, go look at the pink flamingos that populate the salt-water lakes in the area.

When you're done frolicking in the sun, rent a (yellow, if you want to reenact the movie literally) car and hightail it to Paris. There, check into what the Times of London has declared "one of the world's sexiest hotel rooms" at the Murano Urban Resort. No, Zorg and Betty couldn't afford it, but believe me, you want your journey to end differently than theirs did anyway.

Murano Urban Resort: 13 Boulevard du Temple; +33-(0)1-42-71-20-00

Morocco

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine," Bogie's Rick lamented in Casablanca, arguably the most romantic movie ever made. Unfortunately, the modern-day Moroccan city of Casablanca is littered with high-rises, hookers, and hardly anyplace that Rick could've set up shop.

Maryam Montague, an American writer and style maven who moved to Morocco seven years ago with her family, recommends basing your visit in Fez or Marrakech instead, which "still have much of the Casablanca flavor. Walking through the medina, you feel like you've stepped back in time. Men and women in long hooded robes, souk sellers hawking their wares, and the smells of cumin, saffron and thyme wafting about — it's magic!"

To up the romance quotient even higher, Montague recommends visiting Chefchaouen, a small town tucked away in the Moroccan Atlas Mountains. "The entire town is painted in trance-inducing shades of lavender and pale blue," she says. "We love to explore the labyrinth-like streets hand-in-hand and then idle the afternoon away in the city square, sharing pots of hot mint tea. The light is dreamy."

If you start your journey in Marrakech, you can stay at the luxurious Riad Farnatchi hotel, or shack up with the Montague family at their recently opened boutique hotel, Peacock Pavillions. When you head up to Chefchaouen, you'll find a raft of pensions and small hotels, each more charming than the next.

Riad Farnatchi: Derb el Farnatchi, Rue Souk el Fassis, Qua'at Ben Ahid, Marrakech Medina; +212-(0)24-38-49-10 or +212-(0)24-38-49-12
Peacock Pavillions: Kilometer 13, Route de Ourzazate, Marrakech; info@peacockpavilions.com; no phone

Montmartre, Paris

Let's face it, Paris is the most romantic city on the Earth and Amelie is possibly the most charming movie ever committed to film, so planning a weekend around the two is a guaranteed lovefest.

Cafe des deux Moulins in the Montmartre section of Paris, where Amélie was a waitress, is an essential destination. Stop in and sip a glass of Côtes du Rhône paired with some pigs' brains or calves livers — or, maybe just the wine. Since the movie's success, Montmartre has become wildly popular with Amélie fetishists, and walking around here, it's easy to see why. Enchanting old architecture, cozy "zinc cafes" filled with locals, and pleasantly wending alleyways abound. On one corner you might see a windmill you recognize from a Renoir painting, on another, statues of obscure saints. Whatever your religious persuasion, be sure not to miss the astonishingly beautiful Sacre-Coeur Basilica.

Before you head back to your sumptuous room at the Hotel Particulier Montmartre, make a field trip to the Chantal Thomass boutique for some exquisite lingerie. Then pop over to the world-famous fashionista headquarters, Colette, for a "sex candle" to help set the mood.

Café des deux Moulins: 15 Rue Lepic, 18e; +33-(0)1-42-54-90-50
Sacré-Coeur Basilica: Place du Parvis-du-Sacré-Coeur, 18e; +33-(0)1-53-41-89-00
Hôtel Particulier Montmartre: 23 Avenue Junot, 18e; +33-(0)1-53-41-81-40
Chantal Thomass: 211 Rue Saint-Honoré, 1e; +33-(0)1-53-70-27-27
Colette: 213 Rue Saint-Honoré, 1e; +33-(0)1-55-35-33-90

Call me cheesy but I've done the Amelie one and I want to follow the rest!

More locations...

Interesting Guerrilla Marketing Posters

Erotika Sex Shop Car Window Stickers: It doesn’t get much more in-your-face than this. An Italian sex shop called ‘Erotika’ covered all of the windows of a car with stickers showing people in rather suggestive poses. The car, situated right outside the door of the shop, featured another sticker that said “Toys you can’t wait to use”.

Feed SA Shopping Cart Posters: You’d have to have a heart of stone to avoid being affected by the images of poor, starving children sitting in the bottom of your shopping cart. Any food placed in the shopping cart appear to be delivered right into the needy child’s hands. Feed SA, a South African charity dedicated to feeding disadvantaged people, put these decals in shopping carts and saw a marked increase in donations and a significant boost in website traffic.

Get Up And Run Posters: VIP Gym thought images of a flabby, cellulite-ridden butt topped with a pair of love handles would be enough to make people want to ‘get up and run’. Glued to chairs in restaurants and cafes, the poster gives you the uncomfortable feeling that you’re seeing way more of strangers than you would have liked.

Anti-Graffiti Bus Seat Posters: The Australian Public Transport Authority got tired of people spray-painting graffiti on their buses and trains, so they targeted the ‘graffidiots’ with this ad campaign that reminds would-be vandals what the consequences of their actions could be.

Suicide Prevention Posters: So simple, yet so effective. These posters by a Brazilian suicide prevention organization use nothing but white paper and the silhouette cut-out of someone falling – with the negative space from the cutout appearing to save them.


More creative posters...

International Tourists & Touristers

By the 19th century, the modern suitcase was finally taking its familiar form. Rugged and well built, antique suitcases had to withstand years of use on unpaved roads, often exposed to inclement weather. The average suitcase of the age was made of thick, oil-treated cowhide stretched over a stout wooden frame.

Travel became an option, not a necessity, and exotic vacations became the new status symbol. Tourists plastered their suitcases with travel stickers - the more, the merrier! The multi-labeled suitcase became an icon of travel, tourism and the vacation industry by the mid-20th century.

Vintage luggage was built to last, making it ideal for other uses once its traveling days are over. These seatcases are a, umm, case in point. It’s not known whether the suitcases are sealed before being recycled as chairs - if not, they could do double-duty as extra storage.

Has the suitcase reached the limit of its evolutionary possibilities? Hardly. Take the Tank Suitcase above, an innovative design by conceptual thinker Woo Moonhyung. Called the Climbing UP Suitcase, the suitcase features tank-like treads that encircle the case on both sides, making it a cinch to pull up stairs and inclined surfaces. Moonhyung won the 2008 Red Dot Design concept award with the Climbing UP so there’s every chance it’ll be put into production someday.

Via Weburbanist

Darwin's Dangerous Idea Part 3: Life and Death

Part 1/6

Darwin's Dangerous Idea
BBC2 Thursday 19th March 2009

In the final episode of this ground-breaking series about Charles Darwin's legacy, Andrew Marr discovers how Darwin's ideas are helping us to save ourselves and all life on earth from extinction. Marr argues that Charles Darwin is the father of ecology. The modern environmental movement was built upon his insight that all life on earth is linked by a delicate web of connections. He also discovers that Darwin's dangerous idea is inspiring scientists to create a 'flotilla of Darwinian Noah's Arks' to help save life on earth from disaster.

Exploring the impact of industrialisation, intensive farming and our growing hunger for meat, Marr tells the story of our slow awakening to the full implications of Darwin's theory of evolution by natural selection and our own destructive powers as a species. After showing how Darwin developed his ideas by digging up fossils, exploring coral reefs and studying the habits of the humble earthworm, Marr explains how Darwin's dangerous idea was launched into the space age. He discovers the mysterious movements of the 'mouse society', snorkels over a coral reef and visits a 'boiling cauldron of evolution' - the tropical rainforest - which is now threatened by the shadow of mass extinction.

Over the last 150 years, the combination of Darwin's ideas with politics has often had disastrous social consequences. In this programme, Andrew Marr argues that our failure to combine politics with Darwin's insights into the delicate connections between all life on earth could be accelerating the countdown to our own extinction.

Darwin's Dangerous Idea Part 2: Born Equal?

Part 1/6

Darwin's Dangerous Idea
BBC2 Thursday 12th March 2009

Andrew Marr discovers something surprising about his own evolutionary history as this epic series continues with an exploration of Darwin's impact on politics and society.

Under the banner of Survival of the Fittest, Darwin's theory of natural selection has been used to justify imperial expansion and the oppression of indigenous peoples; to inform the science of eugenics - the selective breeding of humans which was implemented in the United States in the early 20th century; and to provide a veneer of scientific respectability to Nazi plans to create an Aryan master race. It was also used quite explicitly to explain the twisted logic of the final solution.

But Andrew Marr also finds a kind of redemption for Darwin's theory of evolution. After the Second World War, it was a founding idea behind the democratic, anti-racist values of the United Nations. More recently, it has also been used to help eliminate a fatal genetic disease from the Orthodox Jewish community in Brooklyn. Marr goes on to consider the difficult social and political choices presented by predictive DNA testing - the final frontier of Darwin's Dangerous Idea.

Darwin's Dangerous Idea Part 1: Body and Soul

Part 1/6

Darwin's Dangerous Idea
BBC2 Thursday 5th March 2009

In the first episode of the three-part series, Andrew Marr explores how Darwin's theory of evolution by natural selection has taken on a life of its own far beyond the world of science.

He argues that Darwin's theory has transformed our understanding of what it means to be human. Over the last 150 years, Darwin's ideas have challenged the need for a creator, undermined religious authority, and provided new ways of looking at the origins of human morality.

Marr's journey begins following Darwin's footsteps in Tierra del Fuego at the southernmost tip of South America where Darwin first encountered an 'uncivilised' native tribe. This began to raise questions in his mind about the origins of the human race. The answers to these questions would emerge over the next 30 years, culminating in the publication of On The Origin of Species in 1859.

Marr then traces the development of Darwin's idea in the years since then and finds a range of influences that Darwin could never have imagined: from the existential philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche to the battlefields of the First World War; from the Freudian psychoanalyst's couch to the Vatican; and from the genetic logic of kindness to an Islamic creationist's claim that Darwin is to blame for modern terrorism. Darwin's dangerous idea is as influential and challenging today as it was 150 years ago.

Weight Bench

This bus ad for Fitness First in Rotterdam, The Netherlands gives you the hard sell via shame. It uses a scale in the seat to display just how fat you are to everyone around.

Via Gizmodo

Liam Gallagher's Clothing Line?

In his Nineties Britpop days he was better known for his anthemic songs and confrontational attitude than his fashion sense. Now a settled down husband and father, Liam Gallagher is launching his own clothing range called Pretty Green which he says will reflect his own style.

"I won't be putting anything out unless I'd wear it," the singer explained. "If you're going to do it you've got to get involved. I'm really looking forward to it; I think it's going to be good."

He lamented the arrival of skinny jeans and pointed shoes, saying that his range won't be anything like that. The range will offer classic designs across footwear, denim, knitwear, jackets, trench coats, parkas, t-shirts, hats, scarves and accessories - created by a range of industry professionals and subject to Liam's final approval.

The collection will be in muted tones of black and brown - and will feature "nothing wild" - as Gallagher himself explains in a video being shown now on his website. He aims to create clothes that men will enjoy wearing, saying "I'm not Jean Paul Gaultier or anything."

The range will be available from July and will have it's debut in GQ magazine, out June 4. For more information visit the website, www.prettygreen.com.

Via Vogue UK

Your Mother Doesn't Work Here

Via Passive Aggressive

Dan Dennett on "Cute, Sexy, Sweet, Funny"

Philosopher Dan Dennett has answers you wouldn't expect, as he shares evolution's counterintuitive reasoning on cute, sweet and sexy things. For a topping, try his new theory on why jokes are funny.

Hello, Can I Help You?

(all company names and employee names changed to protect the innocent... or well in the customers case... the guilty)

This one will take some explaining but is well worth the read if you ask me.

I was working as a phone technician for Blorchizon, so for those of you in the know... we get the weirdest of the weird. I had moved up through the ranks and had become a tier 3 agent, handling only the most difficult of issues.

One fine day everything was going normal, customers with weird throughput issues, customers in areas with recent flooding and more, when this lovely issue occurred.

A tier 2 agent had been working on this call for about 20 minutes and could not isolate the issue. The call had been moved up to them after 10 minutes on the front lines. Needless to say, they contacted me and described that the customer wasn't getting any internet access and nothing they did was changing the issue. So I told the agent to transfer the call to me and this is what transpired:

Me: Thank you for holding, my name is Jed with Blorchizon advanced support. How can I help you?

customer: Hi Jed, my name is Joe and that last guy was really nice, but we can't fix my issue!

Me: I'm aware of that Joe and I'm really sorry. It seems like something out of the ordinary is going on here and it is my job to find it and get you back up and running.

Joe: Excellent... see I have a top of the line computer and it is new, so I know it isn't the computer. It has to be your service.

Me: We'll see Joe.

At this point, I proceeded through basic troubleshooting to see how well he would listen. This guy gave me all the correct answers to anything I asked. For example, I'd direct him to the Control Panel and then into the TCP/IP stack and he'd tell me everything was there exactly as it was supposed to be. So we continued:

Me: Joe, I have to admit this is really strange, everything seems to be exactly how it is supposed to be and you should be getting internet access.

Joe: Yep! That is what I've been saying. You know this all started...

Joe was disconnected right there. At first I thought to myself... Sweet! It works now, no more issue. However it was our policy to try and contact customers back if they were disconnected to make sure everything was ok. So I grab the number from my caller ID and call back. This is what I got:

*ring*

Lady: Thank you for calling Happy Meadows Mental Hospital, how can I help you.

Me: Um..... maybe I dialed the wrong number, but do you have a Joe there?

Lady: Well... nobody on staff here is named Joe. We do have a patient named Joe. Are you a relative?

Me: Uh... no ma'am I'm with Blorchizon Internet. Joe and I were on the phone, apparently he is having trouble with his internet.

Lady: That isn't possible sir! He doesn't have a computer, and we don't have internet access in our rooms.

Me: O....K.....

Lady: *urgent voice* I better go check on him!

I sat on hold for a few minutes, because now I was intrigued. Eventually the lady came back.

Lady: I'm very very sorry sir. Joe had gotten a hold of a newspaper and had found advertisements for Smell Computers and for Blorchizon DSL. He has some boxes set up on his desk and thinks it is his computer.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *yes I really laughed on the phone*

After a few minutes of explaining the issue to this woman, stating that Joe had given me all of the answers I needed for everything, she told me that Joe was very smart and had probably learned all the answers to give when asked those questions by calling previously. I checked the note system we had, and sure enough Joe had been calling in since 3:00am that day and had talked to about 30 technicians.

I can still imagine it to this day, a guy sitting in a hospital gown in front of a bunch of cardboard boxes on the phone trying to get his internet working... absolutely fantastic.

Thought I'd share.

Via Clientcopia

In the Subway: NYC

A reader sent along these photos from the E train, saying, "I am sure that they are fakes and that they are making fun of the current Keep it Going NYC campaign." We asked an NYC Transit spokesman if they were fakes, to which he replied, "I have no idea." Smells like a renegade campaign to us! And unlike the KeepNewYorkMoving ad campaign, it's not asking Albany for funding, but criticizing both Governor Paterson for his budget cuts and the MTA for its proposed fare hikes and service cuts.

Via Gothamist

Told You We Look Like Animals!

This “Napolean Dynamite” guy here is one weird-looking dude.

Tina Turner got a lot of attention for her legs and ability to perform. She deserves some attention for how much she looks like a chow, too.

Both Black and the dog look like they walk around on their face.

Ever notice how Josh Hartnett has those weird, stoned eyes that dogs always have too?

Aww look, they both have little vests. And they probably both spend a lot of times just shivering.

No more comment needed.

Via Pop Crunch

Boy Shakira VS Little MJ

Though Sam has never actually checked my blog, he did force me to put these two clips up since he loved them so much. Lovely friend he is.

Turtle Sex with a Shoe

He probably lasted longer than some guys I reckon... lol

Via Boing Boing

Ghostbusters!

Check out the Atheist Art of Jon Andrew Davis. His gallery show entitled "Divine Comedy" takes a humorous look at religion with works like "Ghostbusters Vs. Jesus."

"I ain't afraid a no ghost
I ain't afraid a no ghost
If you're seein' things runnin' thru your head
Who can you call (ghostbusters)
An' invisible man sleepin' in your bed
Oh who ya gonna call (ghostbusters)..."

Via NotCot

Dear God

Continue to pray...

Gay Ducks Give an Extinction to Their Own Species

Keepers at a bird sanctuary in West Sussex hoped that the last remaining female Blue Duck in the country - called Cherry - might mate with either of the drakes, Ben or Jerry.

But neither male duck appeared interested and are now inseparable at the Arundel Wetland Centre, leaving Cherry to her own devices.

Centre warden Paul Stevens said he was disappointed that efforts to produce new Blue Duck offspring had failed but said the two male birds made "a lovely couple".

"They stay together all the time, parading up and down their enclosure and whistling to each other as a male might do with a female he wants to mate with," he said.

"People who visit the centre think they're a fantastic couple, without really coming around to the idea that they are two males.

"They both have very big personalities and people come from all over the country to come and see them.

Cherry doesn't seem bothered by it, she's just happy to keep herself to herself."

Blue ducks originate from New Zealand but there were thought to be just three birds in the UK.

Keepers initially introduced Ben to Cherry, but neither seemed keen. They then brought Jerry down from a sanctuary in London.

Mr Stevens said: "Cherry showed some interest in him. She displayed typical mating behaviour - she approached him and called to him, she even looked like she was nesting.

"We thought it was great and it was all going to happen but nothing ever did."

Mr Stevens said the male ducks were then placed in the same enclosure: "To our surprise the two males really took to each other and it was obvious that they really liked each other.

"It would have been nice to get a last clutch of eggs from Cherry but Ben and Jerry do make a lovely couple."

Via The Telegraph

12 Animals of the Japanese Zodiac

Pictured is one of the 12 animals of the Japanese zodiac pieced together from the world map, under the project called "Piece Together for Peace" by Kentaro Nagai.

Via Drawn!

Little People

Via Fresh99

Interesting Designed Bags

Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards for Skanks?

Plastic Surgeon General Warns Of Small Breasts Epidemic

BEVERLY HILLS, CA—According to a report released Monday by U.S. plastic surgeon general Dr. Louis T. Saddler, an alarming number of American women are suffering from dangerously small breasts.

"The undersized breasts problem in the United States has reached crisis level," Saddler said during a press conference held at the National Centers for Rhinoplasty and Microdermabrasion. "Unless they receive immediate cosmetic treatment, millions of women in this country will lose the attention of their male acquaintances completely, and some may never be able to land husbands or, if they are somehow already married, keep their husbands' interest."

According to information found on the plastic surgeon general's website, there are several easily identifiable indications that a woman may be afflicted with Chronic Breast Deficiency, or CBD. These include the inability to fill out tight sweaters, as well as invisibility when in proximity to women who have large breasts. Females with this disorder may also experience a troubling absence of back pain.

"A woman who suspects that she may have this condition can verify it with an extremely quick, normally painless test," said Saddler, later adding that symptoms such as a fluid, natural movement of the bosom or any breast shape other than a perfectly round, rock-hard grapefruit should also serve as definitive warning signs. "It's as simple as consulting a trained professional such as a strip-club bouncer or licensed drywaller to assess your personal risk."

"If your daughter, girlfriend, or secretary has small breasts, let her know that she should get the help she needs," Saddler says in one of the televised spots, standing before a diagram of Pamela Anderson. "Referring to under- endowed women's mammaries as 'mosquito bites' or likening a female's appearance to a diving board are just two of the many effective methods that can encourage those suffering from this unpleasant disorder to seek treatment."

Read the full article...

FAIL #3

Laundry fail (big time!)

We eat kids fail

Disease fail

He fails...

Continue to fail...