March 22, 2010
The Trouble with Men
1 They believe house fairies (ie us) do all the washing-up and laundry, take the rubbish out and replenish stocks.
2 They expect praise having completed a tiny task (despite taking ages over it).
3 They suffer from sporadic blocked nostril syndrome — the inability to smell their own bodily odours, foul bins or blocked sinks — but are sniffer dogs when you’ve drunk too much white wine or there’s a roast in the oven.
6 Datelexia: an inability to remember (or care about) things we’ve planned. Ditto birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s.
12 They leave bachelor-style coin pile-ups everywhere.
13 They have zero patience for shopping except when it’s for them, which they pursue with clinical OCD.
18 Their “quick drink” brings them back, wasted, at 4am (and, apparently, also turns their mobile off).
24 They lust after anything with bare legs and large breasts.
25 They believe Cheryl Cole is 100% natural.